No Apologies

as I stretch the scars
that have become my binds
the wounds glisten and smart
my heart aches
with the new found love
that lies beneath all hurts
and as I reach for you I realise
you may not have
the freedom in your mind
to reach for me

so I could shrink back
make myself small
apologise for my loving
but no
and I could tell you all the reasons
or try to demonstrate
why you should love me
and what a team we make
but no
I choose to stand like a sapling buffetted by the wind
holding the place
for a forest to grow

and you will beat against my chest
with wounded fists
and you'll go looking for a crack
but daring to hope
that I'm seamlessly intact
and I'll keep showing you my flaws
I just can't smooth them over
those ugly little sores
that almost knock us over
I hold on to the place
where I was standing
in the playground
baffling my bullies
arms crossed
refusing to fight

so I could shrink back
make myself small
apologise for my loving
but no
and I could tell you all the reasons
or try to demonstrate
why you should love me
and what a team we make
but no
I choose to stand like a sapling buffetted by the wind
holding the place
for a forest to grow

I choose to stand like a sapling buffetted by the wind
holding the place
for a forest to grow

Nikki Berry 2006